The surprising power of checking in with your coworkers

A version of this article was first published in April 2021.

Human contact can make all the difference when we’re feeling overwhelmed, stressed or lonely. Whether it’s grabbing a cup of tea with a colleague or sending a thoughtful message, small acts of kindness can help us feel valued, connected and respected.

Check-ins aren’t just the kind thing to do, they make great business sense too. "Informal chats between managers and employees are key to engagement and productivity,” says Carlos Castelán, MD of business management consulting firm The Navio Group.

But how do you plan for check-ins when they are so often spontaneous? And in this hybrid working world, how do you recreate the magic if you’re sitting down for a virtual cuppa instead of a physical one? Try our seven practical tips:

1. Make check-ins regular

“Nobody wants to be the only person who’s asking for help,” says dental nurse Naveen.

“My manager runs a drop-in session for everyone in our workplace. It’s not compulsory, but so far we have all turned up. She holds them outside in a peaceful courtyard so it’s also a chance to get some fresh air, whether you’ve got something ‘important’ to say or not.”

Weekly or fortnightly one-on-one check-ins with your team help build trust and create a safe space for staff to share any challenges they’re facing, both at work and in their personal lives, that may be impacting their performance.

You could have a set agenda or keep the sessions fluid, remembering to touch upon their projects, key performance indicators as well as career growth and learning. As a manager, you’ll want to add value as well as act as a support system for your employees.

2. Choose your language carefully

“Every day I ask my colleagues, ‘How's it going?’ and I quickly found out that they will just tell me an update on the task they're working on,” says Daryl Tavernor, digital advertising consultant and tech startup founder.

“However, if I ask explicitly, ‘How are you, is everything going okay?’, they will often give me a personal anecdote of something going well or more importantly, an issue in their personal lives. It can really be eye-opening.”

The saying goes that people don’t remember the words you use, but the way you make them feel — and these days, a bit of genuine kindness goes a long way. Consider asking your team how they are explicitly, like in Daryl’s example above.

3. Embed well-being in your professional standards

“As a sustainability professional I find companies understanding more and more how wellbeing needs to be considered as part of the ‘S’ of ‘ESG’ (environmental, social and corporate governance),” says Martha McPherson, sustainability consultant at Design Portfolio.

“I had a new hire join my team [during the COVID-19 pandemic] who’d also just moved to London. We decided to meet outside near the office, so I could at least show him the outside of the building. Sitting outside, eating socially-distanced pancakes with my new recruit, and properly getting to know him, turned out to be one of my social highlights of the last year.”

Think about what might encourage your team to boost social connection. Consider embedding formal metrics for staff wellbeing, work/life balance and social connection in team targets.

A connected team is an effective team, so you may find that social support reaps rewards across all your work.

4. Share your vulnerabilities

“Another tip, which most bosses or founders would advise against, is sharing personal issues/problems with your employees,” says Tavernor.

“You're a human, just like them. By sharing your issues openly, such as anxiety or illnesses, or just those funny silly issues that come up, it can enable you to have a much deeper relationship with your work family, which is great for morale, work loyalty and dedication.”

When you’re leading a team, you may think you need to be infallible, but by admitting mistakes, showing it’s ok to fail, asking for help and being open to learning, you’re actually creating a more collaborative and supportive work environment.

5. Read between the lines

“I have formal check-in structures in place such as monthly one-to-ones with each of my franchisees,” says Rebecca Newenham, founder and director of virtual agency Get Ahead.

“But to me, informal check-ins are just as important. Running a remote team means I am always on the lookout for signals — in emails or on social media, to see if any of the team might need some support. If someone has gone quiet I usually pick up the phone for an informal check-in. Using a vintage phone call seems to encourage people to open up much more than a text or email.”

We all have busy lives both in and out of the workplace and your employees could be struggling with a host of different challenges — from a demanding project to looking after a family member or raising young children.

Picking up the phone or dropping them a quick message lets them know you’re there to support if they need anything.

6. Reduce barriers to asking for help

If one of your team is struggling, they may be feeling exhausted, anxious about asking for help or worried about being judged. You can take away some of these barriers by setting up simple, private and speedy ways to reach out.

“I have introduced Calendly so that anyone can book in for an informal catch-up with me, without needing to have a particular reason,” says Newenham.

7. Try traffic light signals

“I wouldn’t feel comfortable just telling my whole team that I’m struggling,” says IT consultant Dan.

“It could look like I’m the only one who’s having problems, or that I’m not good at my job. Instead, my manager asks us to rate our capacity (workload) and capabilities (if we have the skills and resources we need to do these tasks), using a traffic light system.

“It’s helped me to say ‘This project is status red because I need technical support, and this one is amber because there’s a bottleneck in the process’ instead of feeling like I’m the problem.”

The traffic light system is also called a RAG (red, amber, green) status, and can be a helpful tool in understanding how projects are tracking as well as a useful way for team members to ask for support when they need it.

8. Bring your whole self to work

You shouldn’t leave your personality at the front door when you head to work. You spend around eight hours a day with your colleagues! Consider being authentic, sharing your interests and allowing your personality — the real you — to shine through.

You never know what this honesty can bring to a team — creativity, innovation perhaps even a more supportive environment, making the stressful times perhaps a little easier to deal with.

"Coming from a software background, I can sometimes be too clinical or immediately focused on work objectives,” says Alec Dobbie, CEO and co-founder of FanFinders.

“It makes everything better if you can have a chat about the other stuff, and it’s genuinely interesting too. Who doesn’t want to know when someone is buying a house, or getting a new pet?

“I think these topics would come up naturally in an office environment, but you can’t really manufacture them. If you take the time to remember what’s most important to a member of your team, then you can build a genuine rapport with that person."